Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
