Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
