I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
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No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
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He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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