I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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