Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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