In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize