Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
