I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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