did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
the liver wants what the liver wants
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
