drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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