I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
