I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
