SEEEEXXX PLEASE
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
