I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize