My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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