I'm jealous of your bromance
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
