i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Welp...herpes.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
