whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize