yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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