I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
