Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
