I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
