ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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