Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
