shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
