He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
we're so committed to being not committed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
