JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
