Don't you send me to vm
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
