oh god the rape fog is back!
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
