seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
