I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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