Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
