I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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