i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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