Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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