Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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