I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
