I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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