Already got asked if we're dating
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
