The maid of honor just puked.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
