I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
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I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
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In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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