we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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