she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize