i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
