it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
