If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
