this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
