her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
