what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
