can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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