Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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