o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize