You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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