i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
