These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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